February 9, 2008

  • work

    well, the first week of my new job went well in many ways.  I really feel like part of the team, that I'm someone who can contribute to the success of the company moving forward, and that I fill a needed role there.  And that I'll be able to influence things in my area and that my ideas will be listened to, etc.  And the people are fun and funny, and the company has a chance at being successful..

    But....  I'm worried because I'm too into it.  I think about it all the time now.  I'm behind on other of my consulting projects that I wanted to finish up or have made a lot of progress on.  I'm feeling like I don't have enough time for myself, even to do things like check my personal email and read through it properly, and read and post on xanga (among other things).  Hopefully that'll be better next week when I have a place to live at.

    I'm actually pretty excited about the place I found to rent down there.  It's owned by a lady that is a private chef, and she has an awesome kitchen.  Hopefully I'll be able to learn a few things from her and hopefully try some of her cooking.  It'll just be a cool environment to be in, I hope.

    But - back to the other topic, I am concerned, even if I'll spend less time driving, while I'm down there I might just spend the time doing more work stuff..  So, I don't know.  I've always had a tendency towards obsession, whether it is with a game, a girl, a job, or whatever..  I hope I can break out of that this time, and maybe being able to see it happening at least is a start.  To learn to really just let go for awhile, and get around to doing other stuff.  Like some projects I have at home, and making some progress on taxes.

    But then, maybe part of me wants to be consumed by work.  Wants the positive feelings that come from accomplishing something and being part of something successful.  And to undo the obsession is to let go of being "hooked" on those feelings (it's like getting high from working, like the famous "runner's high", lol).  But then, maybe it's not entirely a bad thing.  It is what drives us towards excellence, accomplishment, and success.  Which helps us make the world a better place, as long as we direct our energies towards benevolent enterprises/goals.

    I guess the thing to remember is to put it in perspective.  Accomplishment, success, making a positive contribution can all be good.  But so are things such as friendship, love, and having fun.