October 6, 2007
-
i'm beginning to grasp
that having a good life is possible. it takes being true to yourself, listening to all the voices inside - the hopes, desires, fears, beliefs, doubts, and harmonizing and resolving them until we find our cohesive selves. and then having the courage to be true to that, to not let fears stand between us and an authentic life. and taking responsibility for our lives and the way they turn out. not that we can control our lives, but if we do not take responsibility for our lives, most likely no one will, and in that case one is just floating and tossed about by the passing winds.
I've found a lot of inspiration recently. Perhaps surprisingly, a lot of it from movies and TV. Perhaps it began from watching Heroes season one. The characters faced questions about who they were, the life they wanted to live, what they did in the face of trials and conflicts. And also I read some about the actors, and just seeing what they were doing - I thought to myself, "here are people doing something they love to do, and creating something wonderful and beautiful." I also watched Firefly, and I felt that even more, especially watching some of the extras in the dvd set. The cast and crew shared about how much they loved what they were doing, how intense it was because they always knew there was the threat of cancellation, and how that drove them to put the most poignant stories and questions in each episode.. You could see how much of their heart they had put into it. I also rewatched the movie (Serenity), and also Garden State. Both great movies. In the past, I didn't consider TV or Movies to really be art. But now I see that some of it is.
And I have learned to be more accepting of myself. To see that when I'm hiding out at home, afraid to go out - accept that there is a reason for that choice, and to use it as a learning opportunity. Why am I hiding? What am I afraid of? What am I trying to avoid or escape? To not feel bad for the choices I make, but to explore the reasons behind them, to try to understand why sometimes I seem to make choices counter to my conscious goals. To understand as best I can all the internal forces that drive me, and do my best to honor them all in working towards wholeness. It's definitely not a fast process, but very worthwhile, and as far as I am concerned, a necessity on the path towards a worthwhile life.
Comments (2)
Hi Gilbert!
I recently read "Following Jesus" by N.T.Wright, which I have mixed feelings about. But there was a truly excellent chapter on fear, where he made the claim (which I have yet to verify, but it does sound good) that the most frequent command in the Bible is "Do not fear" or "Do not be afraid." And he goes on to talk about how counter-cultural that is, because we are accustomed to living our lives in fear - the two examples that really struck me were #1) the way we act in social situations, out of fear of judgment from others, and #2) we fear not being able to get the jobs that we want, and when we get them, we fear that we don't have the ability to accomplish them well. But the command is not to fear - perhaps because we ought to trust in God's faithfulness that whatever we go through has meaning.
Anyway, what you wrote reminded me of that (a good reminder too), so I hope my crappy summary encourages you too.
hear hear. thanks for sharing.
Comments are closed.